It has been almost five weeks since I got home from Costa Rica, and a lot has happened in that time. When I first got home, I thought it was going to be really difficult for me to adjust to the cultural changes here in the US. However, I didn't have any problems... at first. But after a while, I started to notice some changes and stressors I had never experienced before.
I had really gotten into the Pura Vida mindset. I always felt very relaxed when I was there, regardless of what was going on. However, the stressed lifestyle of always feeling in a hurry and trying to fit everything in took hold right when I got home. Yes, it didn't help that I had a week to pack for college, work two jobs, and see everyone I wanted to see, but I still felt like I should still have that relaxed outlook. I felt my anger and anxiety come out sometimes, especially over things that didn't deserve it. I was very frustrated.
However, after a nice conversation with one of my best friends who has also been abroad, I discovered it's normal. She talked about feeling like a different person when she studied abroad. When she came home, she felt like everyone treated her like the person she was before and didn't realize she had changed or realized other unique qualities within her while she was gone. I understood that but more thought it was being put back in the same environment caused certain habits to reappear. But she reminded me that I was moving to a completely new place where I didn't know anyone and I could choose to be whoever I wanted.
Since moving to Helena, Montana for school, I have chosen to be less stressed. I do not allow things to bother me that used to. After Costa Rica, I have really started to understand that outlook is a choice. I knew it before but I am really experiencing it for the first time. I can choose to let myself get overcome by stress or I can choose to stay calm and take things one at a time.
I have also kept in contact with Kenny and have talked about going back to Costa Rica. I miss the culture and the people. Costa Rica helped open my eyes even more about what is important to me. I love connecting with people meeting people from other cultures. I love hearing about different lifestyles and making connections with people around the world. Costa Rica now feels like a second home. I really miss my host family, and I think about them often. I would love to go back and work with Maximo Nivel again, maybe even try another program, such as teaching English. I have thought about the kids I met at Rayito de Luz and wonder how they are doing. I think about what impact I made there. I want to do more for them so I may try to keep in contact with them and also go back to visit. I would love to try to organize a fundraiser at Carroll College for the kids in Costa Rica once I get a bit more settled here.
But for now, I am just trying to figure out a routine, meet people, and get comfortable. I am really loving it in Montana, even though it's only been three weeks. I love how there is a city with everything you need, yet there is that country aspect so close by. Everyone is super friendly and I feel very welcome. I also can't get over the fews. I swear, the sky IS bigger, I don't get it. I've also never lived in a place with mountains, and it is quite the spectacle. It makes everything better.
